


Dear Ole Shiz

by SleeplessInGeneral



Category: Wicked - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Book Elements, F/F, F/M, Fiyeraba endgame, Fiyero is a coffee addict, Glinda is kinda offensive but she means well, Group chat, Multi, Slight OOC at times, for adaptation purposes, musical verse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-17 17:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13081836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleeplessInGeneral/pseuds/SleeplessInGeneral
Summary: Just group chat shenanigans, because college isn't exciting enough without those.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this as a means of breaking writer's block for another fanfic I'm working on for Wicked. And I noticed that there are no gc fanfics in this fandom, so... I took it upon myself to try and do that. It's a thing of mine lately. So I did just that. No real background to this fanfic other than this.
> 
> Seeing as this is my first fanfic in the fandom and I have only read about half of the book thus far, I am heavily basing this off the musical. Which I saw for the first time in London. And for some reason now I just think of the Thropps as having British accents. It's not going to happen in the fic, but it's just a nice figment of my imagination as inspired by the show I saw. I'm also heavily characterizing Fiyero after Bradley Jaden, even though I know technically what the Winkies are supposed to be, but I have a weakness and Bradley falls right into that weakness. So that's a thing now.
> 
> As I say in all my other fanfics, I update extremely irregularly so it might take me over a month to upload a new chapter. Please be patient.
> 
> (Disclaimer, just in case: I am not Gregory Maguire, Stephen Schwartz or Winnie Holzman, nor am I anyone responsible for either the book or the musical. This is a product of my overactive mind and a love of musical theater.)

**_Dear Ole Shiz_ **

_[ **Deeplyshallow** added **Readyladyone** ]_

Readyladyone: what is this group, Fiyero?

Deeplyshallow: @thegaissilent I told you I'd do it

Readyladyone: I still don't understand

Deeplyshallow: everyone who doesn't know yet

Deeplyshallow: meet my ex fiancée Sarima

Thegaissilent: I never doubted you for a moment, Fiyero

Thegaissilent: hi, Sarima! I'm Glinda. The ga is silent.

Santafae: was this really necessary, Yero…?

Deeplyshallow: I wouldn't make you do anything but I would appreciate you being nice

Santafae: fine.

Yanturtle: hi there. I'm Nessarose, and I've been told that I'm tragically beautiful.

Yanturtle: yes this is meant to be a trigger.

Santafae: I'm Elphaba. I'm beautifully tragic.

Deeplyshallow: sure, sure

Santafae: is there something you want to tell me, Tigelaar?

Deeplyshallow: no. Should I have something to tell you?

Thegaissilent: @Biq and this is Biq!

Yanturtle: his name is Boq.

Thegaissilent: well, he doesn't seem to mind it!

Biq: I'm trying to study. Did I miss anything?

Yanturtle: Fiyero added his ex.

Readyladyone: a big mistake, but what's new.

Readyladyone: I'm Sarima. Nice to meet you.

Biq: likewise. I'm Boq.

Readyladyone: so I've been told.

Deeplyshallow: now that we've all introduced ourselves, I'm going to have to ask all parties to be civil

Deeplyshallow: especially Elphaba

Deeplyshallow: time to use that well upbringing of yours, Fae

Santafae: but I'm very civil!

Deeplyshallow: Fae, you can be really harsh at times. Also you're holding a noble title.

Santafae: Thropp Third Descending isn't such a great noble title.

Santafae: and don't even think of going there.

Deeplyshallow: I'm not going anywhere, I'm just asking to be civil because I don't want anyone to freak out. Especially Sarima.

Readyladyone: which reminds me, why am I here?

Deeplyshallow: what a great question! Thank you for asking.

Deeplyshallow: I wanted all of you to get to know each other very very well before the holidays because my parents have extended an open invitation to my friends at Shiz (their words not mine) to come over for the annual Lurlinemas gala

Deeplyshallow: it was their idea. I am absolutely not in favor of this. But whatever.

Thegaissilent: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME FIYERO

Thegaissilent: I WOULD LOVE TO COME

Thegaissilent: ANY CHANCE TO MEET ROYALTY IS A GOOD CHANCE

Santafae: didn't you call them names just the other day?

Thegaissilent: shut up Elphie

Thegaissilent: you know why I called them that

Santafae: just noting. Not judging.

Yanturtle: okay shit I totally forgot it's almost Lurlinemas

Santafae: Nessie, language!

Santafae: also yes. Shit.

Deeplyshallow: so that's a no from Elphaba?

Santafae: that's a yes from Elphaba and a maybe from Nessarose.

Yanturtle: family business.

Deeplyshallow: no… if it's family business you have to go, Fae.

Santafae: yeah, nah. Not really into the whole everyone hates me thing.

Yanturtle: not even an exaggeration.

Deeplyshallow: well… I'd be happy if you came, Fae. I understand if you can't.

Santafae: WHAT CANT YOU UNDERSTAND IN ITS A YES FROM ELPHABA FIYERO

Deeplyshallow: I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I MISSED THIS MESSAGE FAE IM SO SORRY

Deeplyshallow: I'm just really happy now. I'm sorry.

Santafae: for the record, we're studying for Dr. Dillamond's exam next week and Fiyero is distracted to the point of turning extremely red and jumping in his seat.

Santafae: the librarian is so close to kicking us out because of the way he's behaving.

Santafae: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND here he comes to hug me. I'll be back when my arms aren't numb anymore.

Deeplyshallow: if we weren't in the library I would've kissed you rn

Thegaissilent: kissing, huh?

Deeplyshallow: you know exactly what I meant by that, Glinda.

Thegaissilent: well, I was joking too!

Santafae: I swear you guys just have to put a ring on it already.

Santafae: Fiyero, how about we go back to studying?

Deeplyshallow: yes ma'am!

Thegaissilent: YOU GUYS ARE MY OTP

Yanturtle: we know, Glinda. We know.

Readyladyone: explain to me who Elphaba is.

Thegaissilent: my best friend

Yanturtle: my older sister

Thegaissilent: she's green

Yanturtle: she was born green** you meant to say this and not she's green right Glinda

Thegaissilent: yes yes I'm sorry

Thegaissilent: she's also very oblivious

Readyladyone: so is Fiyero, what's the problem with oblivious?

Santafae: we interrupt this probably very interesting conversation to drop a pearl of wisdom from Fiyero Tigelaar

Santafae: "so why is it mas? What's the point of putting mas at the end of her name just to create a holiday that's capitalist heaven? You know what? I don't even want to know."

Deeplyshallow: BUT ITS TRUE

Santafae: and totally unrelated to life science class

Deeplyshallow: well yknow, it's almost Lurlinemas, and you know what that means… (cue theme song)

Santafae: *eyeroll* *theme song playing*

Deeplyshallow: ITS TIME FOR A RANT!

Santafae: it's Fiyero Time!

Deeplyshallow: damn straight!

Santafae: go on then

Deeplyshallow: okay, so. Nothing against Queen Lurline, I'm sure she was a grand and great fairy or something like that, but.

Deeplyshallow: The whole point of Lurlinemas is consumerism. I know that there is a reason this holiday exists, but as time passes this holiday becomes more and more capitalist in the worst of ways. It's at a point where nowadays it's all about shopping and eating in excess, the latter of which I am not opposed to as you may know.

Deeplyshallow: at some point though, it becomes kind of tiring. Say, after your thirteenth Lurlinemas? I remember I started opposing this holiday very much when I was thirteen, I don't know about you.

Deeplyshallow: all in all, I just think this whole holiday is stupid and pointless and needs to go back to its olden days when consumerism was no ish. And that concludes my rant.

Biq: but I like Lurlinemas.

Deeplyshallow: good for you then…? I didn't say you're not allowed to like this holiday.

Biq: I like all the colors and lights and happiness. It's a happy holiday.

Yanturtle: back home we don't really get that, but it's nice to know that there are people who do get that

Santafae: I know you don't remember Rush Margins but it was as bad as it is now in Colwen Grounds. At least your dad was still with us. I kinda miss him, really. He was nice.

Yanturtle: what a rude and unfair low blow

Thegaissilent: what do you mean you don't get that?

Yanturtle: for the past couple of Lurlinemases we haven't really celebrated. Our mother is responsible for the celebrations, she grew up a socialite after all, but she hasn't been home for a while.

Santafae: she's an alcoholic and a drug addict.

Thegaissilent: isn't that kind of harsh to say about your mother?

Yanturtle: no, she really is an alcoholic and a drug addict. It's just that Fabala has no filter where it comes to our family.

Readyladyone: how many nicknames do you have, for Oz's sake?!

Yanturtle: so our mother isn't present, and our grandmother who used to be responsible for everything died a few years ago. Our great-grandfather isn't one for decorating.

Santafae: he's an old geezer who wouldn't get out of his office even if it meant the world will end. But I like him. He's alright.

Yanturtle: Our father and brother think this whole thing is overly feminine and, being who they are, they just outright refuse to do those things. Which is rather a shame, because they used to join us in decorating and preparations until Shell turned nine or ten, I think.

Santafae: He was seven. It was the year I asked great-grandfather to allow me to go to college, so about five years ago. I remember because it was the year I got accepted to Shiz.

Santafae: and for the record, Frex is a religious nut and Shell is just really annoying. And yes, I call my dad by his first name.

Yanturtle: So we're kind of… in this situation right now. We haven't celebrated properly on a family basis for five years and on a bigger basis for twelve.

Santafae: our mother got worse after Shell was born because of Nessa's dad. Long story, you don't have to ask.

Deeplyshallow: …wow. Just… wow. I mean, I knew your father is a religious nut and your brother is crazy, but I had no idea your mother fell even harder on drugs after her third birth… didn't she want a son in the first place?

Santafae: you're asking me to act civil and then you act like this? Fair enough.

Deeplyshallow: no Fae please don't go let's keep studying please Fae I'm failing very miserably in pretty much everything I'm begging of you aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAND she's gone

Yanturtle: lemme try

Yanturtle: @Santafae *clears throat* ELPHABA THROPP YOU MADE A PROMISE AND YOU WILL KEEP THAT PROMISE

Santafae: I just went to get tea ffs people

Deeplyshallow: can you get me coffee?

Santafae: already going to

Deeplyshallow: yaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssss thank you so so so so so so so much Fae I owe you

Santafae: it's nothing, Yero

Thegaissilent: quality wholesome content

Readyladyone: please don't give him coffee

Santafae: too bad, I will

Readyladyone: I'm just worried about his behavior when he drinks coffee

Santafae: Sarima, I grew up in a pretty dysfunctional home. A little hyperactivity isn't something I can't handle.

Deeplyshallow: THANK

Santafae: besides, I've seen a lot of his movement quirks and as I see it, caffeine calms them down. So it's only fair to use it for studying.

Deeplyshallow: T H A N K

Readyladyone: but… he's so hyperactive already.

Santafae: as I said, dysfunctional home. I have two younger siblings. I'll be fine.

Yanturtle: HEY! Rude!

Santafae: that's what you get for being my baby sister, Nessie

Santafae: @Deeplyshallow very strong full fat two sugars?

Deeplyshallow: you know me so well! Three sugars.

Santafae: two and a half and I'm not budging.

Deeplyshallow: fair enough

Deeplyshallow: you're a saint, Fae. We should really start calling you Saint Elphaba or something

Santafae: I'll be there in a sec and you better go back to reading

Deeplyshallow: duly noted! Going back to reading rn. Can't wait for the coffee tho.

Santafae: a couple minutes I swear.

Thegaissilent: OTP I TELL YA

Biq: hey Nessa, can you help me with something?

Yanturtle: sure, what's up?

Biq: I'm struggling with history…

Yanturtle: alright. Text me where you are, I'm coming to help.

Thegaissilent: so, Sarima. It's just you and me.

Readyladyone: should I be concerned…?

Thegaissilent: oh no! I'm super nice.

Readyladyone: yeah, that… really does it.

Thegaissilent: do tell, how did you meet Fiyero?

Readyladyone: we were kids, his parents wanted us to marry, he managed to hold it off for long enough to break it. We stayed friends. That's about it.

Readyladyone: how did you meet Fiyero?

Thegaissilent: I was hanging outside with my friends and his driver almost ran over Elphaba. There was a bit of a big deal. Kinda funny.

Readyladyone: what's with your handles? I'm sorry, I had to ask.

Thegaissilent: it's totally fine! You see, my real name is Galinda. With a ga. But we have a professor, Dr. Dillamond, who can't pronounce the ga, so Elphaba just started calling me Glinda like he does and it just caught on.

Thegaissilent: the others should explain theirs, it's not my place to tell.

Readyladyone: not to be intrusive or anything but are Fiyero and Elphaba… you know.

Thegaissilent: close?

Readyladyone: you could say that.

Thegaissilent: we're all very close. I guess they just click a little better.

Readyladyone: oh, that's great. I'm glad he had you guys as friends.

Thegaissilent: oh… cool.

* * *

 

_[ **Yanturtle** , **Santafae** ]_

Yanturtle: what do you want me to buy Shell for Lurlinemas?

Santafae: just whatever. If you want to you can take a green vial from me.

Yanturtle: so a bar of soap it is.

Santafae: sure. A bar of soap is a good idea too.

Yanturtle: mom is going to be very sad that you're not coming.

Santafae: mom is long past the point of caring whether or not I'm coming.

Yanturtle: I mean it.

Yanturtle: she's… deteriorating. She called me a name in our last conversation that she hadn't in years.

Santafae: so what?

Yanturtle: she didn't call me that name since grandmother passed.

Santafae: that's because you remind her of grandmother. Maybe she's just getting over her grief.

Yanturtle: Fabala, mom is sick.

Santafae: she doesn't love me. Just accept this, Nessie! No one does.

Yanturtle: I do.

Santafae: you're the only one. But it doesn't matter. I'll be home after the holiday is over. I promise. If only just for you.

Yanturtle: I'm just… so worried about mom.

Santafae: just follow the existing guidelines. Keep mom away from the booze. Keep Shell away from the booze or anything that might result in disaster.

Yanturtle: who do you think me to be, Elphaba?

Santafae: just reminding you of the rules.

Yanturtle: Nanny is coming.

Santafae: good for her.

Yanturtle: don't you miss her?

Santafae: she hates me too…

Santafae: look, I'll be fine. I'm going to the Vinkus for the holiday and then I'll come back if only to say hi to mom. It'll be before school goes back.

Yanturtle: if you say so…

Yanturtle: so how does Fiyero's theme song go again?

Santafae: don't change the subject.

Yanturtle: aren't we done with that subject though? Come on, what does it sound like?

Santafae: you need to listen to it to fully comprehend the masterpiece.

Yanturtle: that bad?

Santafae: actually pretty good. He titled it Dancing Through Life.

Yanturtle: "why do we need to study about the faerie war? Didn't it, like, not really happen? I think that’s a myth, you know."

Santafae: is he serious?

Yanturtle: probably not. But I agree that we shouldn't study it.

Santafae: you should, it's a great subject.

Santafae: anyway, I have hot tea and a lovely, highly struggling prince waiting for me.

Yanturtle: have fun! Text me when you're done!

* * *

 

_[ **Deeplyshallow** , **Santafae** ]_

Deeplyshallow: hey Fae

Santafae: hey Yero

Deeplyshallow: I owe you for today

Santafae: you owe me nothing

Santafae: you're just such a horrible student I had to step in

Deeplyshallow: are you calling me a charity case?

Santafae: no…

Deeplyshallow: you're a terrible liar, Fae.

Santafae: I'm not even trying. It's my birthday next week and I'm desperate.

Deeplyshallow: wait, it's your birthday next week?!

Santafae: can't believe you forgot.

Deeplyshallow: of course I didn't.

Santafae: of course you didn't.

Deeplyshallow: I even bought you your gift already.

Deeplyshallow: spoiler alert, it's socks.

Santafae: but I love socks!

Deeplyshallow: I know you do. It's why I bought you socks.

Deeplyshallow: you're being extremely sarcastic today for some reason, you know.

Santafae: well, my birthday is coming up, I was reminded of my brother's existence and I'm really fucking tired. Of course I'm sarcastic today.

Deeplyshallow: you can never run out of fuel for sarcasm, Fae. Not even when you're running on fumes.

Santafae: you try living with my family and see how you fare without sarcasm.

Deeplyshallow: do you want me to come with you to Colwen Grounds after the gala?

Santafae: isn't the gala in two weeks…?

Deeplyshallow: yeah, so…?

Santafae: too early for planning that, don't you think?

Deeplyshallow: hey

Santafae: hey

Deeplyshallow: wasn't it you who insisted on taking me camping on summer vacation?

Santafae: Nest Hardings and Fanarra are two vastly different places

Deeplyshallow: you've seen the Vinkus, now it's my turn

Santafae: I just don't want you to be seen with me back home

Santafae: and before you say anything, it's the cliché it's not you it's me

Santafae: everyone hates me back there. They don't even look at me. They won't take too nicely to seeing you around me.

Deeplyshallow: but I'm a Winkie. Don't they hate us?

Santafae: you're still a prince.

Deeplyshallow: and you're noble too

Santafae: Thropp Third Descending isn't much

Deeplyshallow: I'm just… I'm struggling to understand why you have this family

Deeplyshallow: I don't get why all the nice people have such awful families

Santafae: I'm not feeling like making jokes about this today. Wanna come over?

Deeplyshallow: I think they'll appreciate it more if you came here instead of if I came over to your room at this hour

Santafae: we can say it's tutoring

Deeplyshallow: I'm bringing snacks

Deeplyshallow: should I bring my laptop?

Santafae: sure. Glinda is out tonight. Some family event or something.

Deeplyshallow: fluff and sunshine or brain explosions? Of the actual brains exploding kind.

Santafae: yeah well criminal minds has some really good literal brain explosions

Santafae: and we gotta catch up

Deeplyshallow: and don't forget joint dislocation

Santafae: DONT REMIND ME OF THAT CURSED EPISODE

Santafae: NIGHTMARE FUEL THAT NEEDS TO BURN IN HELL

Deeplyshallow: again, fluff and rainbows or exploding brains?

Santafae: both.

Deeplyshallow: and popcorn?

Santafae: nah, not tonight.

Santafae: maybe tomorrow.

Deeplyshallow: you're no fun

Santafae: no news to me

Santafae: so what's the deal with you and Sarima?

Deeplyshallow: hold tight this is a wild ride

Deeplyshallow: so we were supposed to marry when we were seven

Santafae: damn

Deeplyshallow: apparently seven year old me was a very smooth talker and I managed to explain to my parents that if I can't technically consummate my marriage until I'm twenty there's no point of being married for thirteen years without yield

Deeplyshallow: if you get what I mean

Santafae: DAMN

Deeplyshallow: before coming here I made a case to my parents that I want to choose my own life and that going to college is one way but finding someone to spend my life with is also a way and that Sarima and I are too good friends to marry

Deeplyshallow: my parents were not happy, lemme tell you that

Santafae: D A M N

Santafae: you better finish because I'm running out of damns

Deeplyshallow: so as I said, they weren't super happy, but then I talked to my mom and she said she'll handle it and she got my dad to agree to let me break up with Sarima. My mom gets me most of the time.

Deeplyshallow: but I still have to marry. So that's a thing.

Santafae: a small price to pay for the things you don't want to do

Santafae: I'm waiting. I'm going to finish some reading while I'm waiting.

Deeplyshallow: enjoy yourself!

Santafae: I will!

Deeplyshallow: and don't fall asleep on me!

Santafae: who do you think I am, Fiyero?

Deeplyshallow: just saying…

Santafae: now move your very pretty ass here before I really do fall asleep on you

Deeplyshallow: ma'am yes ma'am!


	2. Something Bad is Happening in Oz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where everything starts going wronger than everything already was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly tried very much to hold myself from making Jonah Platt jokes/references. But I couldn't. I can't. I'm sorry. There's even one in the first chapter, so... that happened. I'm so sorry...
> 
> (Just noting that I'm going to cosplay Fiyero. Two of my friends will be Elphie and Glinda. I expect much fun. Also much frazzling. I have plans to change outfits midday and I really want it to work, so. Just putting it out there.)
> 
> I have no idea why it took me so little time to upload this, and if you're wondering, yes. The rest of the charmed circle will join in later. For now, however, it's just the characters of the musical. And Sarima. But only for now.  
> I can't make any promises about the next chapter, though I already know it won't necessarily be all gc... so there's that. Just wait for it.
> 
> Also, remember how I said that I have this whole "the Thropps are British" thing going on? Well... I have this thing now. Munchkinland are relatively different than the others, mostly because of the metric system and all, and they certainly have the accent (some more than others, in Elphaba and Melena's cases they even roll their R's on occasion), but the spelling is consistent across all of Oz. Don't ask me why, it's just how I envision it. It's weird I know.
> 
> And now, allons-y! (This is going to become a signature for me I stg)

**_Dear Ole Shiz_ **

Thegaissilent: did anyone see Elphaba lately?

Yanturtle: no… must you really ask though?

Yanturtle: she's probably okay

Thegaissilent: she can't just disappear like that!

Deeplyshallow: what did I miss??

Readyladyone: how exactly is she missing?

Thegaissilent: I can't really explain it… she hasn't been in our room for a really long time now.

Deeplyshallow: how long is really long?

Thegaissilent: I haven't seen her since yesterday and I know it's only been a couple hours but it's really worrying

Deeplyshallow: okay then

Deeplyshallow: lemme handle this

Thegaissilent: Fiyero, I love you. I really do. But you're not doing this alone and I won't let you do this alone.

Deeplyshallow: I love you too but you can't join me on this, Glinda.

Thegaissilent: and why not?

Deeplyshallow: because you were raised in Frottica and I was not. I was trained for this.

Thegaissilent: and that's all? Fiyero, I'm your GIRLFRIEND, FFS!!!!! LEMME DO THIS TOO!!!!!!!!

Readyladyone: okay wait what

Deeplyshallow: wasn't it you who said we're only fanservice?

Thegaissilent: so what if it was? I still feel really bad that you don't want me to help you.

Deeplyshallow: Glinda, I can do this by myself. You're not going to win this.

Thegaissilent: even if we weren't together, fanservice or not, I would never let you do this alone! ELPHABA IS MY BEST FRIEND TOO!

Readyladyone: is everything alright…? Obviously not, but…

Deeplyshallow: GALINDA, LET ME HANDLE THIS. THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN TRAINED TO DO. ITS KINDA MY THING.

Thegaissilent: ELPHIE DISAPPEARED FROM OUR ROOM AND SHE WONT ANSWER ME I DEMAND A PART IN THIS TOO.

Deeplyshallow: …I give up. Meet me by the Ozdust as soon as you can.

Thegaissilent: thank you. Will do.

Readyladyone: are they… dating?

Yanturtle: mr and ms popular, what did you expect?

* * *

 

_[ **Santafae** created group: **THE CHARMED CIRCLE inc** ]_

_[ **Santafae** added **Thegaissilent** and **Deeplyshallow** ]_

Santafae: I'm so sorry for disappearing on you guys, I guess I owe you an explanation.

Deeplyshallow: you are one insane woman, Elphaba Thropp.

Santafae: I'm sorry. I had to.

Deeplyshallow: where in the name of Lurline are you, ffs?!?!

Santafae: in a hospital.

Thegaissilent: very funny, Elphie

Santafae: I wish I was kidding.

Santafae: there was an attempt on Dr. Dillamond's life.

Santafae: I had to stay with him, he has no one.

Deeplyshallow: and now define an attempt on Dr. Dillamond's life.

Santafae: someone came to him from behind with a giant balloon and popped it right next to his ear. Imagine that.

Deeplyshallow: come on Fae.

Santafae: I went to ask him for help with some of the exam material and I found him BLEEDING ON THE FLOOR IN HIS CLASSROOM

Santafae: WHAT DO YOU THINK I DID THEN HUH

Santafae: WHAT

Santafae: DO

Santafae: YOU

Santafae: THINK

Santafae: you know what, best if you don't answer that, wouldn't want you to overdo yourself

Deeplyshallow: first of all, rude

Deeplyshallow: second of all, I'm so sorry, Fae… I'm an idiot, I know.

Thegaissilent: just tell us what hospital you're in and we'll be there.

Santafae: thanks, but don't trouble yourselves over me. I'll be fine.

Thegaissilent: you're our best friend. We'd be idiots if we didn't do this.

Santafae: thanks again. I just…

Deeplyshallow: you're terrified. It's perfectly understandable.

Deeplyshallow: we're always here if you need anything.

Santafae: I… kinda need company.

Thegaissilent: text me what hospital you're at and we'll be there in a pinch.

* * *

 

**_Dear Ole Shiz_ **

Readyladyone: HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE

Biq: believe me, if we knew we'd tell you

Readyladyone: let's get this straight

Readyladyone: Fiyero can't stop talking about Elphaba every time we talk about school

Readyladyone: he literally WONT SHUT UP ABOUT HER EVER

Readyladyone: and they seem to be super close and shit in the gc

Readyladyone: ANT YET HES DATING GLINDA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Yanturtle: didn't Fiyero say that Glinda said that it's fanservice?

Yanturtle: did you watch glee?

Readyladyone: I don't watch tv that much.

Yanturtle: Okay, so I'll make it quick and easy.

Thegaissilent: yo, so Mr. Genuinely Self-Absorbed and I have to abandon you guys for a bit

Deeplyshallow: we know where Fae is and she asked us to go be with her

Yanturtle: why not me too?

Deeplyshallow: nothing against you, Nessarose, but it's really just something you shouldn't be part of. Sorry.

Yanturtle: so anyway, glee.

Thegaissilent: what about glee?

Yanturtle: let's say that Fiyero is Finn, Elphaba is Rachel and Glinda is Quinn.

Thegaissilent: I hate Rachel and Quinn.

Yanturtle: my point exactly (though this is for comparison only)

Thegaissilent: but I really like Elphie

Yanturtle: I'm just trying to make references, not actually compare you to the characters!

Thegaissilent: there are so many better examples than this! I will not be compared to Quinn. She's not nice at all!

Yanturtle: just… literally what I just told you.

Yanturtle: I'm sorry I don't have any better references for this.

Readyladyone: no no, it's okay. I got your point. Kinda.

Deeplyshallow: and thus we must bid you all adieu.

Thegaissilent: adieu! Now let's go.

Readyladyone: make sure to bring her some food too!

Deeplyshallow: will do!

* * *

 

**_THE CHARMED CIRCLE inc_ **

Santafae: Dillamond is stable, but he's probably going to be on a few weeks' leave.

Thegaissilent: I'm so sorry, Elphie. How are you holding on?

Santafae: kinda okay…? I'm trying not to cry.

Santafae: Nessa likes saying that I'm allergic to tears.

Deeplyshallow: we got you snacks

Deeplyshallow: well, it's more like I got you snacks and Glinda insisted on getting you "a proper meal because she must be starving"

Deeplyshallow: I know grief can affect your appetite

Santafae: thanks, but I'm not really that hungry.

Thegaissilent: you must eat

Deeplyshallow: you really must eat

Santafae: okay then. I'll eat.

Thegaissilent: Fiyero insisted on getting you a smoothie so that too

Deeplyshallow: it's the easier way to put something in your body at such a situation! I know from experience.

Thegaissilent: he insisted on choosing what goes into the smoothie so we may have gotten you more than one

Deeplyshallow: hey

Santafae: hey

Deeplyshallow: passion fruit is great

Santafae: sure it is, but would you put it in a smoothie?

Santafae: probably not

Deeplyshallow: I would and I would drink it.

Thegaissilent: protein powder, passion fruit, almond milk and bee pollen

Deeplyshallow: heck yeah I would drink that!

Santafae: you would, I wouldn't

Santafae: not to mention how economically and (agronomically/agriculturally?) bad almond milk is

Thegaissilent: wait what?

Santafae: it takes about four liters (3.785) of water to grow an almond

Thegaissilent: and for those of us who don't understand liters?

Santafae: about a gallon.

Thegaissilent: that's… a lot.

Deeplyshallow: so basically you're saying don't drink almond milk

Santafae: no, I'm just noting how bad it is for the environment

Santafae: but we digress

Thegaissilent: count to fifteen and we're there

Santafae: one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen

Thegaissilent: THAT DOESNT COUNT

Santafae: I'm going to go back to reading. You'll find me easy enough.

* * *

 

_[ **Deeplyshallow** , **Santafae** ]_

Deeplyshallow: hey babe

Santafae: so now I'm babe?

Deeplyshallow: you know what I mean

Santafae: where are you?

Deeplyshallow: soon at yours. We had to stop for a sec because Glinda can't go on without her coffee.

Santafae: that's Glinda for you

Deeplyshallow: how bout after you get out of here we'll hang out in my dorm and watch zugzwang?

Santafae: she deserved so much better I stg

Deeplyshallow: she did, I completely agree

Santafae: why not big game and revelations?

Deeplyshallow: same person different torture methods?

Deeplyshallow: but sure, we can. And THEN we can watch zugzwang.

Santafae: you just really like the eye candy don't you

Deeplyshallow: am I that transparent?

Santafae: kinda

Deeplyshallow: okay we're almost at yours give us a few minutes

Santafae: take all the time in the world, I'm reading

Deeplyshallow: enjoy your reading

Santafae: enjoy your time

* * *

 

**_Dear Ole Shiz_ **

Santafae: I'm doing okay

Yanturtle: OMG FABALA WTH HAPPENED

Santafae: nothing too big… I'm doing okay and that's all that matters.

Biq: glad to know you're okay, Elphaba.

Santafae: thanks, Boq.

Thegaissilent: we literally just got back where are you?

Santafae: with Yero. We're watching criminal minds.

Thegaissilent: this show gets more and more disturbing as time goes on, why do you still watch it?!

Deeplyshallow: because it's interesting and intriguing!

Santafae: on a psychological level.

Thegaissilent: okay fine I'll let it go this time

Yanturtle: you should sleep, Fabala

Yanturtle: I don't know what happened but it sounds like you need sleep

Santafae: Dillamond was stabbed

Santafae: he's fine, he'll live

Santafae: I was there with him for a bit so he won't be lonely

Biq: do you think he'll appreciate it if I went to visit him?

Santafae: of course he will

Yanturtle: oh my Oz Elphaba

Yanturtle: I'm so sorry sis

Santafae: it's okay, I just… I wanna forget about all this

Deeplyshallow: we're watching painless. It's an episode about a school shooting.

Santafae: Fiyero is only really watching this show for the eye candy

Deeplyshallow: very inaccurate information

Santafae: okay, mostly watching for the eye candy

Deeplyshallow: that's a bit better

Thegaissilent: I'm glad you're having fun but I personally think Elphie should be back in our dorm asap to nap

Santafae: I know, I'm not stupid

Santafae: I'll be back soon enough, I promise

Thegaissilent: I'll make you tea

Santafae: thanks again for taking the time to care for me this much

Deeplyshallow: no problem, Fae. Any time.

* * *

 

_[ **Deeplyshallow** , **Thegaissilent** ]_

Deeplyshallow: idek what to do anymore

Thegaissilent: is this about Elphie?

Deeplyshallow: what do you think?

Thegaissilent: Fiyero, if you love her that much, I'm willing to stage a public breakup and help you get her

Thegaissilent: think of me as your wingwoman from now on

Deeplyshallow: we're not much of a couple anyway so what point is there for a public breakup?

Thegaissilent: you love Elphie

Deeplyshallow: more than you think

Thegaissilent: and I know for a fact that she loves you

Deeplyshallow: wait what

Deeplyshallow: are you serious?

Thegaissilent: she'd kill me for telling you but yeah

Deeplyshallow: I… is this what speechless feels like?

Thegaissilent: so let me help you. Please.

Deeplyshallow: um… sure?

Thegaissilent: good.

Deeplyshallow: but if anything goes wrong I'm blaming you

Thegaissilent: completely understood

Thegaissilent: so… a party at the Ozdust for Elphie's birthday?

Deeplyshallow: how is that related?

Thegaissilent: I want you to start romancing her asap and thus I need a plan.

Deeplyshallow: won't it be better to do it Friday after the exams?

Thegaissilent: why Friday?

Deeplyshallow: it's right after the exams, so everyone has time, and the vacation officially starts when everyone leaves. I planned it all.

Thegaissilent: but it won't give people time to pack… will it?

Deeplyshallow: how long do you think it takes for people to pack, Glinda? Not everyone is like you.

Thegaissilent: okay fine! Friday. After the exams.

Deeplyshallow: great

Deeplyshallow: you get the ballroom?

Thegaissilent: if you get the booze

Deeplyshallow: you got yourself a deal

* * *

 

**_Dear Ole Shiz_ **

Yanturtle: are you sure you're alright, Fabala?

Santafae: I already told you, I'm very sure

Readyladyone: since I assume I have more life than you guys can you please explain to me what's going on and why Elphaba is being attacked?

Santafae: I'm totally fine. Just emotionally exhausted. The attention is welcome though.

Santafae: Yero and I are watching crime shows to wind down.

Biq: one of our professors was stabbed and he and Elphaba were close

Santafae: you too, Boq

Biq: less than you

Santafae: he still cares a whole lot about you. He loves you a lot.

Thegaissilent: hear ye, hear ye, the second annual Lurlinemas party at the Ozdust will happen Friday evening! Alcohol will be served.

Santafae: no alcohol for you, Nessie.

Yanturtle: I'm eighteen, Fabala. I can legally drink.

Santafae: no you're not eighteen, and you can't control your chair when you drink. Don't forget I've seen you try to do that before.

Thegaissilent: I have too. I saw videos.

Yanturtle: WHY ELPHABA WHY

Santafae: because it's adorable! Lurline's sake Nessarose!

Deeplyshallow: and don't forget that we need to celebrate on Tuesday too

Santafae: oh no

Deeplyshallow: since Fae is turning twenty on Tuesday I feel like it's a good reason to celebrate

Santafae: oh no we don't

Thegaissilent: yes we do

Yanturtle: oh oh oh I had a fantastic idea

Yanturtle: you know that bakery on three queens street?

Biq: I'll come with you!

Yanturtle: that's so sweet of you, Boq, thanks.

Thegaissilent: I've already volunteered our dorm for the celebrations…

Santafae: WE ARE NOT CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY

Deeplyshallow: it's not every day that you're turning twenty years old, Elphaba

Deeplyshallow: we have to do something!

Thegaissilent: good way to make me feel like a baby, Fiyero

Santafae: great… thanks, Glinda.

Thegaissilent: you know what I meant!

Santafae: of course I do! But I'm still not so comfortable with this whole thing…

Readyladyone: well, since I won't be there for the whole party, happy birthday Elphaba.

Santafae: thanks Sarima.

Deeplyshallow: so it's settled! On Tuesday we're celebrating Fae's birthday in her dorm, Nessarose is in charge of the cake, y'all better bring presents, and on Friday we have the party at the Ozdust.

Thegaissilent: agreed!

Biq: sounds like fun!

Santafae: I guess I have no choice, so… sure.

Yanturtle: only if you let me drink

Santafae: in your wildest dreams, Nessarose.

Deeplyshallow: alright then, it's settled!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all had/have a merry Christmas! (I'm agnostic Jewish, to be fair, so don't mind me.)
> 
> As per MatPat, asking to subscribe at the end of each video is bad for you. As per me, I take this advice, and thus believe that asking to (replace subscribe with comment) at the end of each (replace video with chapter) is bad for you. However, I need feedback, more than you probably think. So... I'll leave this hanging here.

**Author's Note:**

> My headcanon is that Fiyero is a coffee addict and has ADHD. Caffeine can help ADHD symptoms in some cases (I'm not an expert, just someone with ADHD who drinks too much soda on a weekly basis for this exact reason). It'll be more evident later on. But it's super cute.


End file.
